Nothing but thieves

axekitty666: shesgoinginforthekill: Gun-toting granny Ava...

Wed, 22 May 2013 22:31:27 +0100

shesgoinginforthekill:

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.

“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,” said police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: “Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”

Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. “The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to,” Detective Delp told reporters. “Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.”

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. “When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ‘cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,”’ recalled the retired library worker. ” And I wasn’t scared of them, either - because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shooting’ all my life. And I wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.”

So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighbourhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

“I knew it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,” the oldster recalled…

“So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.”

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. “What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,” Det. Delp said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.”

What a badass.

hope in humanity restored :D

“This doesn’t seem very religious.” “According to who?”

Wed, 22 May 2013 21:52:01 +0100

“This doesn’t seem very religious.”

“According to who?”

"Stop thinking about art works as objects, and start thinking about them as triggers for experiences...."

Wed, 22 May 2013 20:46:34 +0100

““Stop thinking about art works as objects, and start thinking about them as triggers for experiences. (Roy Ascott’s phrase.) That solves a lot of problems: we don’t have to argue whether photographs are art, or whether performances are art, or whether Carl Andre’s bricks or Andrew Serranos’s piss or Little Richard’s ‘Long Tall Sally’ are art, because we say, ‘Art is something that happens, a process, not a quality, and all sorts of things can make it happen.’ … [W]hat makes a work of art ‘good’ for you is not something that is already ‘inside’ it, but something that happens inside you — so the value of the work lies in the degree to which it can help you have the kind of experience that you call art.””

- Brian Eno (via jessiethatcher)

I could reblog/post this every day as a constant reminder.

(via notational)

Amen, Eno.
(via absolumentmoderne)

"I’ve never seen the Icarus story as a lesson about the limitations of humans. I see it as a lesson..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:03:10 +0100

“I’ve never seen the Icarus story as a lesson about the limitations of humans. I see it as a lesson about the limitations of wax as an adhesive.”

- Randall Munroe (via david)

shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and...

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:53:09 +0100

shannananan:

mercimonamie:

i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.

oh my god you managed to one up john green.

Reasons To Watch Shameless (US) - Lip Gallagher

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:47:04 +0100

Reasons To Watch Shameless (US) - Lip Gallagher

kill-natalie: surimistick: i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:51:41 +0100

kill-natalie:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.

lalalafrickyou: bloody-nips: i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:51:02 +0100

lalalafrickyou:

bloody-nips:

i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck

“her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted

cowboybeboop: viste: cowboybeboop: reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it IT’S...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:41:29 +0100

cowboybeboop:

viste:

cowboybeboop:

reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it

IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST

only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan

brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:40:42 +0100

brvdleysoileau:

how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl

thefoxxybenedict: starkidnutty: starkidnutty: Watching Jennifer Lawrence meet famous people never...

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:34:28 +0100

thefoxxybenedict:

starkidnutty:

starkidnutty:

Watching Jennifer Lawrence meet famous people never gets old.

#she looks like she just found a unicorn

It reached a quarter-million oh my GOD.

NUTTY I’M SCREAMING

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:33:39 +0100

thestraggletag: OTP

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:28:50 +0100

thestraggletag:

OTP

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:28:35 +0100

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:56:55 +0100

imafangirlidontdocalm: ir0n—m4n:

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:43:02 +0100

imafangirlidontdocalm:

ir0n—m4n:

I love your blog.

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:27:44 +0100

My neighbour came over to see why I was screaming. Couldnt tell her that its about a boy who does...

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:04:18 +0100

My neighbour came over to see why I was screaming. Couldnt tell her that its about a boy who does everything right and still fucks up my life.

Why aren't more people freaking out about the new Venezuelan labor law?

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:50:21 +0100

bluandorange:

monetizeyourcat:

dancepunksnotdead:

You know, the one that gives housewives/full-time mothers a pension— wages for housework?

It’s ONLY A HUGE VICTORY FOR FEMINISM, SOCIALISM, AND WOMEN OF COLOR. Not a big deal or anything. Tumblr is mysteriously silent about this.

http://rabble.ca/columnists/2013/05/venezuelas-new-labour-law-best-mothers-day-gift

holy shit!

fucking COOL

just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that...

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:49:30 +0100

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time